On Sunday night the 28th of June, in downtown Fernandina Beach a bike named Swoosh was taken hostage by a stranger. As I enjoyed myself with friends on this balmy evening after filming for “O” with the Shores brothers and Michael, I left my classic red SUN beach cruiser outside of O’Kane’s Pub. This is standard procedure for me as I am accustomed to everyone keeping an eye out for my bike. I ride everywhere downtown and to the beach…EVERY DAY! People have said, “Hey you’re that guy on that sweet red bike…nice ride dude”. Many folks would think that this isn’t such a big deal or strange occurrence, bikes are taken all the time I hear, but to me, this is devastating!

Swoosh was born on Cumberland Island. As a special favor, my friend Mary let me buy Swoosh wholesale as an employee at the Greyfield Inn. I picked bright cherry red because it was the same color as my first bike. You may have had one, too, the one with training wheels? We all had one. Remember, you would ride and ride and ride until one day your fear of scraped knees is overcome by the frustration of dragging around two sissy little tires.

I awaited anxiously the arrival of a single package on the boat. No other bikes were due in and I knew the next one was for me. My buddy Joey was the bike guy and he offered to take it to the bike barn and assemble it for me. Assemble he did…and just because Joey was great he helped me order special big flyaway handlebars, better pedals, a stainless chain and awesome thorn resistant tubes and tires that could handle just about anything Cumberland could throw at me. I was set. I had began riding to Greyfield before the crew cab so that I could open the house in peace and to shower before greeting guests and continuing with my duties at the inn. People let me tell you the bike is so fast. One speed forward, without cumbersome gears, big tires and a slung-back frame. This bike is nothing short of hotness. I looked at him after a day or two and decided he was named SWOOSH. It just fit and everyone knew him on the compound and in the forest. Swoosh makes a sound like that, like rushing wind. Robyn (the muse) laughs at me because I always say Swoosh is enchanted. Had you the chance to ride him you would agree. At any rate we took to the field every chance I got and we rode the Lucy together on my trips to the mainland. I broke him in for a few weeks and then we made our way north into the Wilderland. One day I decided to ride all day in an effort to discover as much of Cumberland alone on two wheels as I could…and we took to a trail. This particular trail led from Plum Orchard through the forest…and down to the soggy bottoms of wetland then up into the dune trail and finally to the beach. Swoosh delivered me past gators and over roots and through the water without incident. Riding down the beach was like harnessing the wind. We were home boys to be sure.

Over four years the chrome has been taken from the handlebars…the tires have been replaced…the fenders removed from rattle and rust. But to me Swoosh only looks better with age….the same they say of all true loves. The frame has a sticker from my buddy Ian’s pizza joint in Colorado that is partially removed and there were bungee cords and a little green army man strapped to the handlebars. I am perpetually eight years old…but such is my life. I recently heard from several people that a young couple found a red beach cruiser dumped in downtown and they were excited and took possession. I cannot blame them…like I said…Swoosh is a hottie. I can get another bike…very similar…but never the same. I have lost so many nights of sleep lamenting the twenty minutes I turned away from my friend and someone took him from me. I hope that this story reaches someone in town who might lead me back to my beloved bike. I can’t offer a reward, but I can tell you that my Divinity will hook you up in the future. Good energy gets paid back a trillion fold.