The Importance of Like Minded Friendships

I attended a World on a String seminar this past week and it was fantastic for many reasons. Deb Cottle reminded me of the importance of like-minded friendships. We need the interaction of relationships, many of which come and go, to travel with us through life’s journey. Humans are not loners by nature.

This has been known since the time cavemen painted on walls. Even the Bible, Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 tells us, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall the one will lift up his fellow, but woe to him that is alone when he falleth for he hath not another to help him up.”

Do these ancient versus confirm that two heads are better than one? We all need other people in our lives, and I don’t necessarily mean in a marriage or otherwise sexual relationship. I simply mean it is common to find comfort in having someone in our life as a trusted friend. We need companionship, someone who shares our goals, beliefs and values.

Commonly thought of as an African proverb, “It takes a village to raise a child,” was in circulation long before it was adopted by Hillary Clinton as the source for the title of her book that spent some time on the New York Times Best Seller list in 1996. Most of us know the convenience of sharing car pools to school, soccer or dance class, but we all should realize the importance of having someone to help us in all steps of this journey called life.

Many studies have been done proving that children learn better when in a cooperative learning environment. Two heads Learn Better than One, by Roger T. and David W. Johnson discuss the three basic ways students interact with each other as they learn.

1) In a competitive environment, they compete to see who is “best”.
2) In individualistic learning, alone they work toward a goal without giving any attention to their fellow students.
3) However, if they work cooperatively, each interested in the other‚Äôs progress, they have a vested interest in each other’s learning as well as their own.

Their research suggests students achieve more, have a more positive attitude about the school environment and develop better interpersonal relationships.

Call it tribal or an extended family, but having a confidant to bounce ideas off of gives you the opportunity to hear your thoughts out loud. Sure, you can talk to yourself, but you need feedback. (Of course in this day and age, if you answer yourself out loud someone may threaten to call for a straight jacket.)

Think about the following scenarios when having a partner can make the job easier or safer. If you are a farmer, and two or more of you work in a garden you reap and sow multiple treasures. Some can weed while others tie up the plants to sticks of support – together, you are more productive and reap more benefits.

Life is a journey and if there are two of you climbing a steep hill, you work together helping one another to reach the summit. If one of you should fall, the other is there to help you up. But like the Bible reference above suggests, if you climb up a steep hill with another and one of you should fall – and the burden to lift the other is too great, there is still one of you left to run for help.

This is the season to be reflective and thankful for your blessings, and your loved ones are the biggest blessings of all!