Parental Welfare is as Bad as it Gets

bratI often catch people, friends, family  and acquaintances, in heated conversations about how this country has been turned into a welfare state, with millions of beggars living off the state’s coffers. Most of them in every day life, operate substantially to the right of the political spectrum. Most of them are sufficiently educated, hard working, god fearing family men and women with high standards of morality and respect. Many of them have children in early to grown adult categories and many have no clue that their behavior and actions steal from their kids’ futures.

If you’re thinking:”I’d never take anything from my children”, let me assure you I’m not talking about “borrowing” from their piggy bank or savings account. I’m talking about robbing your kids of the tools they’ll need to live ambitious, independent lives.

And that’s what I call “parental welfare.”

Parental welfare starts with something as simple as paying for your teenager’s gasoline without the need for any counter performance. Or it could be as damaging as paying the living expenses of adult children.
Parental welfare is like lifting weights for your children… and thinking they’ll get stronger for it. That’s exactly what you do each time you “deny” them an opportunity to struggle and learn how to do and earn things on their own.

Parental welfare is a form of theft of the worst kind as it robs your children of the same life lessons that taught you how to become an income earner or wealth creator. It robs your children of the motivation to succeed. It denies them the opportunity to find the joy of work. And it eliminates the productive pain that goes hand-in-hand with learning how to be self-sustaining adults.

Showering your kids with all that they desire is destructive. It turns young children into needy tyrants… who grow up to be needy, whining adult tyrants. Instead let your children work for their needs and desires outside of the obvious tools that come with parenting. And most of all….let them fail!! Be there to offer encouragement, but …do not ‘deny’ them the heavy lifting required to create productive lives of their own. It’s the only way to prepare them…even if you’re accused of “Tough Love”.

Wallace Pierson Travel Promotes Fundraiser for Boys & Girls Club

SONY DSC

Lively Luxury Travel Show

Wallace Pierson Travel, the Virtuoso Travel Advisors on Amelia Island, have organized a Luxury Travel Show at the Ritz Carlton, Amelia Island for the past 5 years, the admission proceeds of which are in its entirety donated to the causes of the Boys and Girls Clubs of Nassau County Foundation.

This year’s show which will be held on Saturday November 8, comes with a slight twist as Wallace Pierson Travel has organized a PRE-SHOW RAFFLE of five hundred $10 tickets, that not only serve as show admission, but also makes purchaser eligible to win One of Two One Night Stays at the Ritz Carlton, Amelia Island for the night of the show on November 8, 2014

For details check out below flyer and call Wallace Pierson Travel to buy one or more Raffle Tickets. (904) 261 5914.

Searchamelia Boys and Girls

 

Talk Like a Pirate Day is September 19

Talk Like a Pirate Day is September 19Well, Blow me down! Friday, September 19, any buccaneer to enter a participating Krispy Kreme and talk like a pirate gets one FREE Original Glazed® doughnut. To the landlubber who dares to wear full pirate attire goes a bounty of one FREE dozen Original Glazed doughnuts.

Offer good on International Talk Like a Pirate Day, September 19th, only.

Here are the closest locations to Fernandina Beach:

    7612 Merrill Rd.
    12973 Atlantic Boulevard
    810 Cassat Ave.
    11117 San Jose Blvd.

To claim yer bounty on September 19, ye must:
• Come in to a participating Krispy Kreme shop and Talk like a pirate for one FREE Original Glazed doughnut.
• Come in to a participating Krispy Kreme location in full pirate costume for one FREE dozen Original Glazed doughnuts.

Qualifying pirate costumes must include three or more of the items below:

    Eye Patch
    Pirate Hat
    Pirate Flag
    Bandana
    Peg Leg
    Parrot on Shoulder
    Pirate Shirt / Loose white shirt
    Knickers
    Leather belt
    Silver and gold necklaces and earrings
    Pirate Hook
    Pointy black boots or ragged brown sandals
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Book Yourself and Start Earning Money Today

Book Yourself and Start Earning Money TodayI have a very resourceful relative who has been out of steady work for a bit of time. Well, she decided to make money by booking herself and Boy, did it pay off! Here is her simple plan if you want to try and make some dependable cash income for yourself.

She took out an advertisement in a local pet friendly magazine that went something like this:

Personal Assistant, she listed her name, two contact numbers and an email address.

Next, she listed all of the things she is good at by category.
Household: Laundry, packing, unpacking, drop off or pick-up services, party preparations, plant watering, light cleaning, light food preparation and so on.
Pet Related: Dog walking, feeding, brushing, visiting, administering medications and the like.
Do It Yourself: Curtain rod and picture hanging, organizing closets, cleaning the garage, light gardening, and rearranging furniture.
Seamstress: Hemming, mending, alterations if you have lost weight and can no longer wear your favorite clothing.
Computers: Introduction to, email, surfing the web, data entry, basic filing.

Near the end of the ad she put in big bold letters, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

She closed with the basic detailed information regarding her fees and expectations, “12.00 per hour, not a health care provider nor strictly a cleaning service.”

She is booked six days a week for the next ten weeks and is thrilled with the variety of work she is doing. She is working for herself, setting her own hours, and extremely happy.

If someone calls for something she cannot do, she will admit that right up front, also she does not take risks. Anything dangerous or hazardous she wants no part of, but she has turned out to be quite the entrepreneur.

So, the next time you find yourself whining because you cannot find a job, simply make one for yourself based on your own set of skills. As you can see in this example, when you think about it, you have plenty of talent that others will pay you for. Start today and make money by booking yourself.

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Things I noticed After a Week’s Vacation

Dangerous Ambiguity on a dark night

Dangerous Ambiguity on a dark night

After a week’s vacation on Anna Maria Island I must confess that the world looks even more ambiguous than before.
J.G Ballard wrote a while back that “The marriage of reason and nightmare which has dominated the 20th century has given birth to an ever more ambiguous world. Across the communications landscape move the specters of sinister technologies and the dreams that money can buy. Thermonuclear weapons systems and soft drink commercials coexist in an overlit realm ruled by advertising and pseudo events, science and pornography. Over our lives preside the great twin leitmotifs of the 20th century—sex and paranoia.”

So when I read that New York City’s law enforcement arrests some guys operating a “drone” near the George Washington Bridge with the accusation that they interfered with a Police Helicopter, while an Air Traffic Control Report now clearly shows that it was the helicopter threatening the drone, I feel ambiguity creeping up the base of my neck; even more so when I notice on my beach walk right here on our beach some guys operating remote controlled drones with HD Digital cameras and I wonder the potentially compromising personal pictures they can take of scantily dressed sunbathers and post them online. Am I a weirdo for thinking that or should guilt be shared with Ballard’s observation above?? 

Ambiguity can refer to a statement, an act or an attitude. Let’s see if you can find examples of this in the following list:
1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA…… FLOOR.
2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
4. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.
5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, “WHERE’S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?” SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
6. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
7. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
9. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO “GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?”
11. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
13. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
14. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL BREAK-IN AND CLEAN THEM?
15. IF A TURTLE DOESN’T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
16. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
17. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
18. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?
19. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?
20. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
21. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON’T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
22. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?
23. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?
24. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
25. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
26. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
27. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
28. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD ‘LISP’ TO HAVE ‘S’ IN IT?
29. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED “HEMORRHOIDS” INSTEAD OF “ASSTEROIDS”?
30. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN’T SHOOT AT THEM?
31. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
32. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED?
33. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?
34. WHY DO SHOPS HAVE SIGNS, ‘GUIDE DOGS ONLY’, THE DOGS CAN’T READ AND THEIR OWNERS ARE BLIND?

And just for good measure and to show that Ballard’s observation has an eternal application, here are 5 sketches that confirm that sex and paranoia are still male leitmotivs in the 21st century. Enjoy.

A Teacher and the Missing School Desks

 A Teacher and the Missing School DesksThe original author is unknown:

In September of 2005, on the first day of school, Martha Cothren, a History teacher at Robinson High School in Little Rock, did something not to be forgotten. On the first day of school, with the permission of the school superintendent, the principal and the building supervisor, she removed all of the desks in her classroom.

When the first period kids entered the room they discovered that there were no desks. “Ms. Cothren, where are our desks?”

She replied, “You can’t have a desk until you tell me how you earn the right to sit at a desk.”

They thought, “Well, maybe it’s our grades.”

“No,” she said.

“Maybe it’s our behavior.” She told them, “No, it’s not even your behavior.”

And so, they came and went, the first period, second period, third period. Still no desks in the classroom. Kids called their parents to tell them what was happening and by early afternoon television news crews had started gathering at the school to report about this crazy teacher who had taken all the desks out of her room.

The final period of the day came and as the puzzled students found seats on the floor of the desk-less classroom. Martha Cothren said, “Throughout the day no one has been able to tell me just what he or she has done to earn the right to sit at the desks that are ordinarily found in this classroom. Now I am going to tell you.”

At this point, Martha Cothren went over to the door of her classroom and opened it. Twenty-seven (27) U.S. Veterans, all in uniform, walked into that classroom, each one carrying a school desk. The Vets began placing the school desks in rows, and then they would walk over and stand alongside the wall. By the time the last soldier had set the final desk in place those kids started to understand, perhaps for the first time in their lives, just how the right to sit at those desks had been earned.

Martha said, “You didn’t earn the right to sit at these desks. These heroes did it for you. They placed the desks here for you. They went halfway around the world, giving up their education and interrupting their careers and families so you could have the freedom you have. Now, it’s up to you to sit in them. It is your responsibility to learn, to be good students, to be good citizens. They paid the price so that you could have the freedom to get an education. Don’t ever forget it.”

By the way, this is a true story. And this teacher was awarded the Veterans of Foreign Wars Teacher of the Year for the State of Arkansas in 2006. She is the daughter of a WWII POW.

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The Dutch Live in The Netherlands not Holland

Screen shot 2014-07-09 at 7.05.10 AMWith so much attention given to the world championship Soccer and today’s semi final game between Argentina and The Netherlands, I wanted to share a video that  explains in more accurate detail the truth behind the confusing relationships between Dutch, Hollander and Netherlander. Beware however that there still are a few inaccuracies.

 

The North and South Holland provinces are the most densely populated, but the most people live in Noord Brabant statistically. Also the ‘cute hearts’ on the flag of Friesland are actually the leaves of a waterplant, the Caribbean island Curacao is pronounced kurasow, like the Japanese director. The Netherlands or Lowlands (Lage Landen or Pays Bas) are also a specification of a region which includes what is now The Kingdom of Belgium, which was until 1830 part of the Kingdom of The Netherlands. The Netherlands as we define it now however, were never in its entirity called United States of Belgium. Whoever came up with that idea is weird.

Oh and Dutch (Diets), is really pronounced ‘Deets’) and Deutsch, allthough the words look quite similar and have a shared etymology, sound different and mean something different, they are in fact very different things.  Dutch, or indeed more correct ‘Diets’ refers to the languages spoken in a populated region of forrests and swamps between rivers, which are now part of The Netherlands in the late Middle Ages. The word Diets, Dutch or the original Frisian Duutsc really means “from the people”.  Deutsch is just another word for ‘from Germany’. It’s a bit like the difference between the word ‘Man’ and the region ‘Maine’ . Confusing ? Yes but when you realise you pronounce Dutch like ‘touch’ and Deutsch like ‘doytsch’ it’s a bit simpler really to notice the differences…

And to put it all in perspective so you won’t have to ask me anymore about my native country, the entire Netherlands is about 1/4 the size of Florida, houses about 17 million people and soccer is the national pride. If you don’t believe me than watch this video from my province’s capital city of Maastricht, where famous native son André Rieu celebrates the national soccer team one day after they beat Spain 5-1, with songs all the Dutch know and sing out loud when the World Cup plays out: Hup Holland Hup. And that’s what they need today when facing Argentina for a chance to have another facedown with Germany in the finals, like in 1974 in Munich Germany, where they lost 2-1.

Ms Senior Jacksonville Pageant 2014

Ms Senior Jacksonville Pageant 2014Fernandina Beach local, Crystal Molchan, is a contestant in the Ms Senior Jacksonville Pageant 2014.

Hosted by A Seasoned Affair, Inc., they assist seasoned women through education, empowerment and pageantry. Their pageants are created with the mature woman in mind; a woman who wants to have a good time, met new people, be recognized, and dispel the myths of aging.

The pageant will be held at 2:00 PM, June 28, 2014, at Florida State College at Jacksonville’s Kent Campus. Kumasi Aaron, of WJXT, News 4 Jax, is the Mistress of Ceremony.

Crystal is a local hair stylist with Tangles Salon, and a member of the Fernandina Pirates Club where she makes many of her own costumes. Having participated in pageants as a teenager, she feels confident going into the Ms. Senior Jacksonville Pageant. Crystal said, “This pageant is a celebration to this part of my life. I’m excited that I can encourage and inspire other women my age that it’s okay to grow old gracefully, as long as your having fun doing it.” And you can believe she will be in good company with other vibrant, wise and beautiful senior contestants from Northeast Florida.

You can imagine what her talent routine will be by looking at the picture below. Crystal will impersonate Phyllis Diller and interact with the costumed characters seen here. Crystal styled the hair and make up, and hand crafted the apparel. So she will show off her dramatic talents in comedy, singing, cosmetology, sewing and costuming.

crystal-talent-senior-pageant
Pictured Left to Right: Mrs. Lovett, from Sweeny Todd; the Queen of Hearts, from Alice in Wonderland; The Dusty Maid, of The Carol Burnett Show; and Scarlett O’Hara, of Gone with the Wind.

The stages of the pageant are:
1) Personal Interview
2) Talent (2 minutes)
3) Evening Gown
4) Words of Wisdom, a 35 second speech.

…but only one of these Six Sensational Seniors will be a champion for senior women.

A Seasoned Affair has a history in the long term care industry and they deliver presentations on the ABCs of long term care, nursing home care, nursing care rights, how to choose a nursing home, and setting and maintainng your life goals.

For more information visit www.ASeasonedAffair.com.

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Six Hundred Square Yards of Happiness

bakker's fietsThings have changed since we were young someone remarked recently. It came kind of as the conclusion to a conversation about food home deliveries. Working on our AmeliaBites.com website I had noticed how many restaurants these days offer take out delivery so when someone asked me, “What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?”, I must have looked a bit dumbfounded. After a couple of seconds I said: “We didn’t have fast food when I was growing up,” I informed him. “All the food was slow.”

“C’mon, seriously. Where did you eat?”
“It was a place called home,” I explained. “Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn’t like what was put on my plate, I was allowed to sit there until I did like it. And that could be the next morning or lunch.”

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn’t tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table. And no there was no TV blaring

Here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I hadn’t been afraid that his system could not handle it:
• My parents never drove me to school (or even Kindergarten!). The walk to school was through the neighborhoods, what must have been a little less than 2 miles. I walked there after breakfast, walked back home at lunch time, back to school for 2pm classes and played my way back home after classes were over at 4pm. Sometime in 3rd Grade I got a bicycle that had one speed: slow. If it was too cold or snowy, I walked.• We didn’t have a television in our house until I was 9. It was black and white, reception was done with rabbit ears and the station went off the air at 11pm, after playing the national anthem and a religious message. It came back on the air at about 9 a.m. and there was usually news to begin the day followed by women’s exercise and domestic care programs.
• I remember listening to the World Cup soccer on the radio and the highlights of the year in broadcasting were the rivalry soccer game between Holland and Belgium and the daily results of the Tour de France.
• I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen to make sure people weren’t already using the line. But I still remember our phone number 5805!
• Pizzas were not known to us as fast food, unless on our summer vacation trips to Italy, and certainly not delivered to our home… but milk and eggs were and our baker bicycle delivered personally our favorite breads and cookies on Tuesday and Saturday afternoon. His customer route into our neck of the woods encompassed about 30 miles of cycling. His name was Bakker Mueller. Harrie Pasmans was our milkman who brought fresh milk and eggs every morning before 7am, horse and wagon and all. He lived about 300 yards to the right of us. About three hundred yards to the left was Farmer Roumans, whose horse and wagon delivered fresh fruits and vegetables before noon every day. I dream off the days that white asparagus freshly out of the ground, an inch or more in diameter, were the culinary highlight on the dinner plate at home.  Topped with a special softly spiced real butter sauce and slices of hard boiled eggs I felt closer to Heaven in those days then ever since.• The butcher shop was 300 yards to the west and displayed an enormous delight of meats. Chickens were not sold in stores. If you wanted fresh chicken for dinner, you went into the coop and selected one for consumption. I personally can attest to the truth behind the expression “running around like a chicken without a head.”
• 300 Yards to the East, almost on the German border, was my grandparent’s home, just a short walk through the fields. If she had wanted to, mom could have watched us walk to our grandparents from the upstairs bedroom. She never did, she never had to. Safety was not an issue we had to concern ourselves with on a daily basis. Everyone in the neighborhood knew each other well and looked after us. It was 600 Square yards of pure, fresh, tasty, safe heaven on earth.
Yes things have changed since we were young!

I Had a Drug Problem When I was Young

I Had a Drug Problem When I was YoungHappy Father’s Day!!!

The other day I was in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and someone asked me a rhetorical question, “Why didn’t we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?”

I replied that I had a drug problem when I was young, “I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals. I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather.

I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults. I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn’t put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.

I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profanity. I was drug out to pull weeds in mom’s garden and flower beds. I was drug to the homes of neighbors to help mow the yard, repair the clothesline, and if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, my dad would have drug me back to the woodshed.

Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, or think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin, and if today’s children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place.

God bless the parents who drugged us!

The original author is unknown.

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Someone’s Son Took My Place by Crowns of Creation

Someone's Son Took My Place by Crowns of CreationJoey and Jeanne, the two musicians who make up Crowns of Creation Ministries on Amelia Island, just released their new song Someone’s Son Took My Place honoring U.S. veterans of foreign wars, especially Vietnam era soldiers.

Their inspirational music and testimonies are filled with emotion as they continue to inspire others into discipleship with Jesus Christ.

This is a personal story of thanks to those who went to war in Vietnam allowing Joey the option for college deferment.

The song is particularly moving and it is appropriate for all of the Armed Forces holidays: Veterans Day, Flag Day, Armed Services Day, and of course on this Memorial Day 2014.

Crowns Of Creation
crownsofcreation.com, © 2014

    I was 18 on my way to war
    When someone’s son took my place.
    Off to college, “2S” deferred.
    I never saw the enemy’s face.

    Soldier’s standing in my shoes
    While I ran barefoot and free.
    I didn’t see it clearly then,
    Someone’s son rescued me.

    I was just a child at 18,
    Thinking I knew everything.
    When war ended I heard things,
    Unimagined sufferings.

    They came home to no support,
    And no appreciation.
    Fighting an unpopular war
    No ticker tape. Just alienation.

    Marching toward the Eve Of Destruction,
    Endless killing season,
    Foxholes turning soldiers into saints.

    One day I heard about a Son of man.
    Obeying orders from High Command.
    Gave His life for the human race.
    Someone’s Son took my place.

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Driverless Cars Force Police Budget Changes

autonomous 1

I think this would be great!!!!

I have been fascinated by the possibilities of driverless cars ever since I read John Barnes’ sci-fi thriller “Mother of Storms” in 1995 after Hurricane Luis devastated my favorite island St.Maarten.
One of the things that makes this story really interesting aside from all of the carnage created by a giant hurricane that spawns off siblings left and right to crush the far corners of the world, is that at this point in time (2028) the entire world is linked by a virtual-reality network, so everyone can experience the devastation as if they were living through it. And in the middle of it operates a media reporter whose driverless RV moves effortlessly between all projected danger zones. Amazon still has the book available and if you like a more qualified glance into the future, I recommend it as a summer read – even though it’s not an easy read.
The line in the novel that I remember as the first time realization that cars in the future will be driving autonomously was: “Randy Householder is cruising I-80 out of Sacramento in a car so old it had to be retrofitted to drive itself.”

Well add 20 years to the timeline and Google’s driverless cars have now combined driven more than 700,000 miles on public roads without receiving one citation, The Atlantic reported this week. While this raises a lot of questions about who is responsible to pay for a ticket issued to a speeding autonomous car – current California law would have the person in the driver’s seat responsible, while Google has said the company that designed the car should pay the fine – it also hints at a future where local and state governments will have to operate without a substantial source of revenue. Many car manufacturers have made major progress in developing autonomous cars.

Changing Law Enforcement Budgets

Approximately 41 million people receive speeding tickets in the U.S. every year, paying out more than $6.2 billion per year, according to statistics from the U.S. Highway Patrol published at StatisticBrain.com. That translates to an estimated $300,000 in speeding ticket revenue per U.S. police officer every year. State and local governments often lean on this source of income when they hit financial trouble. A study released in 2009 examined data over a 13-year period in North Carolina, finding a ‘statistically significant correlation between a drop in local government revenue one year, and more traffic tickets the next year,’ Popular Science reported. So, just as drug cops in Colorado and Washington are cutting budgets after losing revenue from asset and property seizures from marijuana arrests, state and local governments will need to account for a drastic reduction in fines from traffic violations as autonomous cars stick to the speed limit.”

But that is of course only the beginning of the new realities unfolding.
Don’t forget how driverless cars will ravage car insurance companies, public transport, shipping and taxis, inasmuch as electric cars will ruin service and gas stations. In the end, the amount of change happening because of driverless and electric cars is going to be staggering, on a scale that we can’t really fathom yet.

But then also remember the poor horse and buggy, typewriter, 8-track, vhs, projection/crt display, etc. etc. etc and slave whip & chain industries.
We don’t know what the future will bring even if we imagine going back a long time ago, before air travel, electricity, internet, tv, vaccines and whatever else. We only know for sure that things are changing.

autonomous2Ultimately we may see a road system like the Internet. If packets of information can find their own way through private networks to their destination, why shouldn’t people? Imagine if neighborhood roads were privately-owned, a resident committee would set their own speed limits and potential fines. As a customer, if you didn’t feel safe or got ripped off from an arbitrary fine, you could always choose a different route.
But above all the taxpayer would be given a deal he can’t refuse and therefore will not be allowed to take.

Law Enforcement however will have less to fear from diminishing budgets because of technological advancements because it’s function is already secured with the creation of the “War on Terrorism”. Even though Historians have already established the fact that the atrocities of terrorism are indiscriminate because they are committed by groups of dissenting individuals willing to forcefully take their dissent to the street, while as an enemy they are essentially invisible as it can not claim a particular nation as its home.
When war on terror materialized as an option for continuous conflict, Governments rapidly developed a plan to justify budgets like never before, justified by something as ludicrous as the words: “credible threat.”

But with technology moving forward we have to learn to embrace irony in the making. Why do you think we are looking at pot legalization in the next few election cycles? The fact that the entire stance on pot, even the war on drugs, was based on lies, has been known for a long time. The fact that it’s safer than alcohol is pretty much uncontested now, so what changed?
Well two things are happening:
• safety and protection have become the main concern of many western societies, allowing governments to allocate any some of money needed to execute their programs and
• technology allows for complete control of citizens’ lives, whether it’s by controlling the houses they live in, the cars they drive (or being driven in), their jobs, their travels and any aspect of the lives they live.

So the irony for the future foresees, that driving a driverless car while intoxicated by drugs and/or alcohol will not be illegal anymore! Nor will be texting, amorous encounters in the backseat or eating a 4 course dinner while watching a movie about marijuana growers in Oregon.

Take that for a future.

Hilarious Satire Video on Advertising in the 21st Century

 

The Tender Years
The Tender Years

During a lifetime in advertising and marketing, dating back to the mid 1970s, I’ve always adhered to Bill Bernbach’s Principal Quotes as the one and only “advertising strategy” that works. The founder of New York’s premier agency for much of the 20th century often said: “Everything you write … everything on a page-every word, every graphic symbol, every shadow-should further the message you’re trying to convey.” If Bernbach believed a product could not live up to its advertising, he would not take on the client. No matter the budget. That’s integrity!

Compare that to advertising today and sadly realize that the industry over-all has degraded to vague, inspirational nonsense to try and capture people’s attention. Just watch the stupendous pharmaceutical commercials these days and cringe as a narrator’s voice spews incomprehensible words and terms into your living room in an effort to convince us that they have the answer to what maybe ailing us.

Bernbach would have agreeably smiled however over the words New York copy writer Kendra Eash wrote in an amazing bit of satire mocking how the ad industry these days likes to use vaguely formulated nonsense to capture people’s attention. So when Dissolve, a stock video distributor, that provides many of the emotionally loaded scenes used in commercials took her words and visualized them in an amazingly nondescript, faux-inspirational video (from stock footage) that tells you absolutely nothing at all, I had to naturally think off Bill Bernbach. Watch the video…it’s kind of hilarious. 2:19 is my favorite moment.
If you run an ad agency, please use this as a clarion call to say actual things in your clients’ commercials. Things that actually add something to the discourse. Stop being bombastic.

For the reader’s convenience I have included the written copy.

Narrator: We think first of vague words that are synonyms for progress and pair them with footage of a high-speed train. 
Science is doing lots of stuff that may or may not have anything to do with us. See how this guy in the lab coat holds up a beaker? That means we do research. Here’s a picture of DNA.

There are a shitload of people in the world, especially in India. See how we’re part of the global economy? Look at those farmers in China, but we also do business in the U.S.A. Or want you to think we do. Check out this wind energy thing in Indiana, and this blue-collar guy with dirt on his face. Whew. Also, we care about the environment, loosely. Here’s some powerful, rushing water, and people planting trees. Our policies could be related to these panoramic views of Costa Rica.

In today’s high-speed environment, stop-motion footage of a city at night with cars turning quickly makes you think about doing things efficiently and time passing. Lest you think we’re a faceless entity, look at all these attractive people. Here’s some of them talking and laughing, and closeups of hands passing canned goods to each other in a setting that evokes community service.

Equality, innovation, honesty, and advancement are all the words we choose from a list. Our profits are awe-inspiring like this guy who’s looking up and pointing at a skyscraper or a kite while smiling and explaining something to his child. Using a specific ratio of Asian people to black people to women to white men, we want to make sure we represent your needs and interests, or at least a version of your skin color in our ads. Did we put a baby in here? What about an ethnic old man and his wrinkled smile represents the happiness and wisdom of the poor. Yep.


If only Miss Eash would have put a dancing puppy or adorable kitty somewhere in this wonderful essay, satirical perfection would have been accomplished.

The Car Thief Who Just Got out of Prison

The Car Thief Who Just Got out of PrisonA woman hurried to the pharmacy to get medication. When she returned to her car she found that she had locked her keys inside. The woman found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground. She looked at it and said “I don’t know how to use this.”

She bowed her head and asked God to send her some help. Within five minutes a beat-up old motorcycle pulled up, driven by a bearded man who was wearing an old, weathered, “do-rag” with skulls on it. He got off of his bike and asked if he could help.

She said, “Yes, my daughter is sick. I’ve locked my keys in my car and I must get home. Please,” she pleaded, “Can you use this hanger to unlock my car?”

He said “Sure.” He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was open. She hugged the man and through tears said “Thank You so much! You are a very nice man.”

The man replied “Lady, I am NOT a nice man. I just got out of prison yesterday, I was in prison for car theft.”

The woman hugged the man again; she was still sobbing, “Oh, thank you, God!” She shouted to the sky, “You even sent me a Professional!”

The moral of the story? “When God sends you help, don’t ask questions.”

Original author is unknown.

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Happy Mother’s Day 2014

Happy Mother's Day 2014The image is of my great-grandmother, holding my great-uncle Carl.

The following is an email I received several months ago, but thought it was appropriate to keep until Mother’s Day rolled around in 2014. For all of you Mothers out there… enjoy! The original author is unknown.

The One Flaw In Women

By the time the Lord made woman, He was into his sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, “Why are you spending so much time on this one?”

And the Lord answered, “Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable, be able to run on Diet Coke and leftovers, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart and she will do everything with only two hands.”

The angel was astounded at the requirements. “Only two hands? No way! And that’s just on the standard model? That’s too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish.”

“But I won’t,” the Lord protested. “I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick and can work 18 hour days.”

The angel moved closer and touched the woman. “But you have made her so soft, Lord.”

“She is soft,” the Lord agreed, “but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.”

“Will she be able to think?” Asked the angel.

The Lord replied, “Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate.”

The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman’s cheek. “Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.”

“That’s not a leak,” the Lord corrected, “That’s a tear!”

“What’s the tear for?” The angel asked.

The Lord said, “The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride.”

The angel was impressed. “You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing.”

“Yes she is! Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don’t take ‘no’ for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colours. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

…and the Lord continued, “However, if there is one tiny flaw in women, it is that they forget their worth.”

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

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