Dave Scott Does Nothing and Still Wins
The other day at our house someone named Alex representing “The Notification Center” called and left a message saying that he had “excellent news” for me.
On the recording he said I “had been selected in an official contest, that I or someone else may have entered in my name” and I had won either a “$50,000 home makeover or $25,000 in cash” but I needed to call 888-207-3176, extension 224 and ask for Alex to claim my winnings.
With visions of a backyard swimming pool and a round-the-world trip dancing in my head, I excitedly did as I was instructed and called the number but was connected to a lady named Lauren, not Alex. She informed me that my name was “pulled” and I had indeed “made the final round and could win either a new vehicle worth $50,000, $25,000 in cash, or a $25,000 shopping spree.” She volunteered that she wasn’t selling anything – not “time shares or travel club memberships.” The home makeover that Alex told me about in his message wasn’t mentioned, and not wanting to appear greedy I didn’t bring it up.
But the goodies were piling up. Lauren added that since I was married, not over the age of 75 and because she was confident that I could pay the taxes on all my loot, that I had also raked in a $100 dinner card, a round trip airfare for two anywhere we wanted to go or a cruise on one of a selection of cruise lines to a variety of locations. To pick up all these goodies my wife and I merely had to travel to 9454 Phillips Highway, Suite #1, 32256 in Jacksonville on Wednesday or Thursday at 3 or 7 pm, fill out a survey, and take a look at something called “Direct Buy Warehouse,” to see all the other stuff we could pick up if we were shopping spree winners. The whole thing wouldn’t take more than 1-1½ hours of our time she said.
Lauren said I wasn’t under any obligation and while there I would pick up a key to see if it was the one that unlocked a box holding the really big prizes. She said I had “a really good chance of winning” and gave me the claim number of ECM1985, and her cell phone number (315) 623-0796, telling me when I asked, that she was in Constantia, NY.
“Darn,” I said, “as excited as I am about all this,” I told Lauren that I was unable to make it since I practice my trick sleeping technique on those days and sadly hung up the phone. However, I’m sure that anyone reading this can take my place next week or later by giving Lauren a call, and you’re welcome to use my claim number. If she answers the phone I bet you’re a winner, and the least you can do is buy me a cold beer for steering you toward this bonanza. Good luck.
(Dave Scott writes a weekly blog www.davescottblog.com that includes musings, opinions, observations, questions, and random thoughts on island life, Fernandina Beach and more.)