Do I hate stupidity!

You've got mail! How intelligent is that mail. Not really but many people still fall for this absurdity.

There are really people that have some sort of brain deficiency

Click to enlarge - It is dumb

As webmaster of SearchAmelia and having multiple sites that I manage as administrator, I recently have gotten the most horrendous and ignorant “SEO Service offers” via the contact forms of at least 9 different sites from multiple different people claiming to work for an SEO (Search Engine Optimization) company to get all my administered websites ranked on page number one of Google. They even “dare” to “guarantee to get me on the first page of Google“. What is really interesting is that most of them “Proudly Announce” YAHOO.COM as their website URL (Address) to give it credibility! WTF!

Yahoo wants to help me getting Ranked on Google’s Prime spot? Strangely they do use a gmail e-mail account and this is how most of these offers read:

Name:     John Jones


Subject:  SEO Services

Message: SEO Services
We would like to get your website on first page of Google.
All of our processes use the most ethical “white hat” Search Engine Optimization
techniques that will not get your website banned or penalized.
Please reply and I would be happy to send you a proposal.

***Note the “white hat” mention? How absurd to do so in spam!
And that it’s spam is absolutely obvious. I’m not sure if it is automated or manual spam, but it remains spam.

Now the question is “how valid is the claim”?

Unfortunately is is very valid. BUT… They don’t mention on WHAT page your website will be ranked on the first page of Google and let me explain how simple it is.


Google page ranking

Just be lonely and you get to page number one on Google

I invent a keyword such as “Helecoptee” and Google will try to correct it in the current indexing of keywords to for example “Helicopter“. However if I “insist” in an article that it is a word Google will most likely create a new index for the word “helecoptee” and the article / home page with that keyword(s) will be listed on the first page of Google. And most likely that page/website home page will be the ONLY one listed!!!

Now did I misguide you while making you $3,000 poorer. No, I did not since I kept my promise of getting you onto page one of Google. Is it white hat (meaning that your website will not get penalized)… Absolutely!

Does it get you traffic? Will it EVER get you any Search Traffic? Most certainly not!

It doesn’t matter if I know the first thing about Google and search technology, but foremost it’s about relevancy. Relevancy and frequency of people that search for that keyword or key phrase and let me tell you that if you run a Hotel or Restaurant or even a Deli, nobody but absolutely nobody will get you ranking on the first page of Google within a reasonable time and with reasonable resources (financial and otherwise) for the words “Hotel“, “Restaurant” or even “Deli“!

This brings me to another related topic. If you do a search on Google, Yahoo, Bing or Ask looking for a hotel on Amelia Island, would you type in the word “Hotel” to find one on Amelia Island?

Most likely the answer is “NO” (I hope) because if you do you may as well take a couple of weeks off from work to wield through the 100 million+ search results. People have learned very quickly to narrow their search by using long tail key phrases such as for example “Beachfront hotel with pool on Amelia Island“. This way at least Google will return “only” some 69,000 results and with high relevancy on the first couple of pages.

Let’s return to the “contact” e-mail in your and my inbox.

First off, the content is so dumb written that it can only strike anyone as “you want to take me for a ride?”. Obviously, spam continues to be written by idiots and for ignorant people. Personally I don’t believe that anyone with a half functioning brain, having their first Java brew while opening up their e-mails, would ever fall for such wording and on top of that take action other than looking very fast for the DELETE button.

Secondly, putting Yahoo as their website URL, while promising you to get number one page ranking on Google, is not only an insult to Google and Yahoo but strikes me as the people who wrote the content of the e-mail and those that lend their hand in sending it to us, as having sub zero IQs.

Now I could write a full dissertation on what criteria would peak my interest in taking action, even if it were a spam e-mail, but why make them wise to it because it would take me longer to identify their competence. No please keep on sending me ignorant dumb ass messages so I can quickly hit that delete button.

I really hate stupidity!


  1. DreamsFloat Joe

    “… No please keep on sending me ignorant dumb ass messages so I can quickly hit that delete button. …” tommylee, you can due as aye finds me, myselves and aye dueing on some mornings, click the 'Post as …..” Button! Aaarrrgh!

  2. tommylee

    My mom used to say: “Life is like a box of Shrimp and it starts out fresh and crispy yet the further down you get the fishier it gets. But no matter how fishy the last one tastes you would always wish there was one more”.

  3. publisher_sa

    I am convinced that they all originate in Nigeria. It's what these scammers do during lunch break and then they come up with words like Helecoptee!

  4. Caroline_B

    … and as much as you and others may hate stupidity it always amazes me that it actually works.

    As we well know there are too many companies/individuals that are making all sorts of amazing claims especially when it comes to site optimization. Depending how these unrealistic claims are packaged many people, mostly due to their ignorance, fall for it and pull out their billfolds. Yes, I believe that some of these individuals actually believe that they made a good investment without realizing that there is much more involved in the website optimization game. It seems many of us loose common sense when we see a good sounding promise. Let’s not forget there is a lot of truth to “when it sounds too good to be true……”.

    In addition I find that so many are focusing on the number of “hits” to their site. Needless to say not too long ago I was approached by one of my clients telling me the following: “OK I managed to get tons of hits to my site but I am not getting any results. How in the world am I getting my visitors to buy my product?”

    My advice: Work on your message. It’s boiling down to marketing 101. Give your customers a reason to buy or react to what the goal of the site is. I assume that everyone knows their targeted audience and the goal of their website. Create a realistic marketing plan and stick to it. Of course everybody has a business plan…. don’t you?

  5. tommylee

    Unfortunately they don't come from Nigeria but are from US origin since i'm using an IP address Identifier in the contact forms.

  6. tommylee

    Unfortunately they don't come from Nigeria but are from US origin since i'm using an IP address Identifier in the contact forms.

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