Football season has officially begun in the south. College football in the south is very different than it is up north. For those who are planning a football trip to the south this season, here are some helpful hints.
Women’s Accessories:
Carry a Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara and a fifth of bourbon. Money is not necessary – that’s what dates are for.
Parenting:
In the south we expect their daughters to understand pass interference.
Campus Decor:
Plenty of statues of Heisman trophy winners adorn the campus.
Heroes:
Herschel Walker & Peyton Manning
Getting Tickets:
About five months before the game you will need to walk into the ticket office on campus, make a large financial contribution, and put name on a waiting list for tickets.
Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:
It is likely the teachers may cancel Friday classes because they don’t want to see the few hung over students that might actually make it to class.
Parking:
Arrive early, the RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.
Tailgating:
Don‚Äôt be surprised to see a 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fired up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance from the Dave Matthews Band… all of whom come over during breaks and ask for a hit off bottle of bourbon.
Getting to the Stadium:
Don‚Äôt worry, you’ll hear it. On game day it is the state’s third largest city.
After the Game:
Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker, while somebody goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon. Planning begins for next week’s game.
