Just felt like putting some humor into the day and tell a joke. Life is good.
Pablo Picasso's 'Two Women at a Bar' 1902 -oil on canvas- 80 x 91.5 cm at the Royal Academy
Two women were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while one looks
at the other and says, ‘I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland.”
The other woman responds proudly, ‘Yes, I sure am!’
The first one says, ‘So am I! And where about in Ireland are ya from ? The other woman answers, “I’m from St.John’s, I am.” The first one responds, ‘So, am I!! And what street did you live on?’ The other woman says, ‘A lovely little area it was in the west end. I lived on Warbury Street in the old central part of town.’
The first one says, ‘Faith and it’s a small world. So did I! So did I! And what school did ya go to?’ The other woman answers, ‘Well now, I went to Holy Heart of Mary, of course.’ The first one gets really excited and says, ‘And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?’ The other woman answers, ‘Well, now, let’s see. I graduated in 1964.’
The first woman exclaims, ‘The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same pub tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from Holy Heart of Mary in 1964 me self.”
About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down and orders a beer.
Brian, the bartender, walks over to Michael, shaking his head and mutters,
‘It’s going to be a long night tonight.’
Michael asks, ‘ Why’s that , Brian ?’
Brian answers , ‘The Murphy twins are drunk again .’
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Did you hear about the 3 legged dog that walked into the Palace Saloon during this month's 'First Friday' celebration? Amazingly, this really smart (black lab) dog walked into the Palace, marched through the crowd, headed straight to the bar and said, “I'm looking for the man that shot my paw!”
the devil, once again, made me do it………..
Was that the same day the bear walked into the palace? He ordered a rum and………………….coke. The bartender said why the big pause? The bear said “I was born with 'em.”
Funny stuff you two! Thanks for the smile!
Also a horse walked into the Palace. The bartender said “Why the long face?”
And a duck came in and asked “Got any crackers?” Bartender said no. Next day the duck came back “Got any crackers?” Bartender got mad “I ain't got no crackers! If you ask for crackers again I'm gonna nail you're webbed feet to the bar!” Next day the duck came in “You got any nails?” Bartender said “No.” Duck says “Good, you got any crackers?”
A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, “Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich.”
The panda yells back at the bartender, “Hey man, I'm a PANDA. Look it up!” The bartender opens his dictionary to “panda” and reads: “A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinctly black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”
Funny stuff you two! Thanks for the smile!
Also a horse walked into the Palace. The bartender said “Why the long face?”
And a duck came in and asked “Got any crackers?” Bartender said no. Next day the duck came back “Got any crackers?” Bartender got mad “I ain't got no crackers! If you ask for crackers again I'm gonna nail you're webbed feet to the bar!” Next day the duck came in “You got any nails?” Bartender said “No.” Duck says “Good, you got any crackers?”
A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, “Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich.”
The panda yells back at the bartender, “Hey man, I'm a PANDA. Look it up!” The bartender opens his dictionary to “panda” and reads: “A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinctly black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”