Story and Song, Indie Bookstore, Opening in Fernandina

You’ll find the new bookstore located in the heart of the island at 1430 Park Avenue in Amelia Park’s commercial district (former home of Artistic Florist, and before that, KP’s Restaurant.)

A general interest indie bookstore, “Story & Song” will offer nearly 10,000 new books for all ages with a variety of interests, the best selection of unique greeting cards in Nassau County, fun toys, and gifts for the reading lifestyle.

You’ll discover books, music, art, wine, coffee, and fresh food in a lively, friendly space – making Story & Song a favorite destination for friends and neighbors, especially those who understand the importance of supporting locally-owned businesses.

The peaceful neighborhood setting offers a relaxing, refreshing escape from ‘screen fatigue’ and the busyness of our lives.

Upstairs, “The Second Story for Arts & Creativity” will showcase art books and art by local creators and will be a place to come for programs and performances, story time and discussions. Area book groups and non-profit community groups will now have a mid-island gathering space.

Find them on facebook for the latest details.

FSCJ Offers Free Oral Cancer Screening

Florida State College at Jacksonville (FSCJ) welcomes the public for a free event on the importance of oral cancer screenings as part of its Quarterly Health Series.

Eva Grayzel, a nationally-recognized Master Storyteller and performance artist, was diagnosed with stage IV oral cancer at age 33 and was only given a 15 percent chance of survival. Drawing on her own experience and success story, Ms. Grayzel now applies her stage skills to communicating the importance of regular screenings in a unique and powerful way.

For over a decade, she has captivated dental professionals worldwide using her story as a catalyst for change. The riveting details of her delayed diagnosis stimulate thinking about enhanced patient care and education. A champion for early detection, Eva founded the Six-Step Screening(tm) oral cancer awareness campaign.

Immediately following the presentation, attendees are invited to the FSCJ Dental Hygiene Clinic for complimentary oral cancer screenings with our students under the supervision of clinic dentists.

Tuesday, October 24, 2017, at 5-6 p.m.
Zeke Bryant Auditorium – FSCJ North Campus, 4501 Capper Road, Jacksonville, FL 32218

Amelia Island Named Top 10 U.S. Island by Condé Nast Traveler Readers

AMELIA ISLAND, Fla. – Northeast Florida’s Amelia Island has placed among the Top 10 U.S. Islands in the 2017 Condé Nast Traveler Readers’ Choice Awards.  Amelia Island finished in the #3 spot and was the only Florida island included in a list comprised of destinations such as Maui, Nantucket and Oahu in the 30th annual competition.

“Amelia Island continues to enchant visitors, resulting in an ever-growing list of accolades and recognitions,” said Gil Langley, president and CEO of the Amelia Island Convention and Visitors Bureau. “Readers have voted our island paradise into this elite group of global destinations eight of the last nine years. It’s a true testament to Amelia’s enduring appeal, and an invaluable endorsement from discerning travelers.”

Three of Amelia Island’s award-winning accommodators also placed among the Top 25 in the Resorts in Florida category – Elizabeth Pointe Lodge, a 25-room beachfront Inn (#12); the Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island, a 446-room beachfront resort (#22); and the Omni Amelia Island Plantation Resort, a 404-room beachfront resort (#23).

Condé Nast Traveler announced the results of its 30th annual Readers’ Choice Awards on October 17, ranking the best hotels, resorts, cities, islands, airlines, and cruise lines in the world. More than 300,000 dedicated readers took part in the 30th annual Readers’ Choice Awards survey submitting millions of ratings and more than 100,000 comments, voting on a record-breaking thousands of hotels and resorts, hundreds of cities, islands, and cruise ships, and dozens of airlines and airports. The result? Condé Nast Traveler’s largest-ever list of Readers’ Choice Award winners, ranking the best travel experiences in the world.

The Condé Nast Traveler Readers’ Choice Awards are the longest-running and most prestigious recognition of excellence in the travel industry and are commonly known as “the best of the best of travel.” Under Editor in Chief Pilar Guzmán, the Readers’ Choice Awards have become more selective and specific to the passions that inspire today’s travelers.

The Readers’ Choice Awards are announced in the November issue of Condé Nast Traveler, on newsstands nationwide on October 24, 2017. The full list is published exclusively online, at www.CNTraveler.com/rca.

About Condé Nast Traveler
As the most discerning, up-to-the-minute voice in all things travel, Condé Nast Traveler is the global citizen’s bible and muse, offering both inspiration and vital intel. Condé Nast Traveler is the most trusted and celebrated name in travel with six National Magazine Award wins and 26 nominations in its 28-year history. Advertising Age named Pilar Guzmán Editor of the Year in 2014 and CNTraveler.com attained four Webby Awards since 2015. www.cntraveler.com
 
 

Dealing with Hurt Feelings and Self Injury

People deal with difficult feelings in all sorts of ways. They may talk with friends, go work out, or listen to music. But some people may feel an urge to hurt themselves when distressed. Harming or thinking about harming yourself doesn’t mean you have a mental disorder. But it is an unhealthy way to cope with strong feelings. Finding new ways to cope can help you get through difficult times.

Some unhealthy ways people may try to relieve emotional pain include cutting, burning, or hitting themselves. These behaviors can be difficult to detect. People usually keep them a secret. Wounds can often be treated at home and covered with clothing or jewelry.

“The largest percentage of people who engage in non-suicidal self-injuring behaviors are teenagers,” says Dr. Jennifer Muehlenkamp, an NIH-funded psychologist at the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire. Around 2 out of 10 teens and college-aged students report trying this behavior at least once.

Those are the key ages because youths are changing environments, Muehlenkamp explains. “Transitioning into college or from junior high into high school creates a lot of potential change. You lose the familiarity of your social group, and your social support might shift. There’s a lot of new stress and pressures.”

People who are anxious, are depressed, or have an eating disorder are also more likely to turn to self-injuring behaviors. So are those in sexual minority groups who experience discrimination and bullying, such as those who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transsexual.

“Self-injury is a sign that someone is struggling,” says Muehlenkamp. “Many youths transition out of it. But those who engage in it more repetitively and chronically may benefit from a direct clinical intervention.”

If you’re a parent or caregiver who’s concerned, look for frequent unexplained injuries and clues like bandages in trash cans. Watch to see if the person wears appropriate clothing for the weather. Someone who is self-harming may wear long pants or sleeves to cover their injuries, even when it’s hot.

“The way most people find out is the person who is self-injuring will disclose it,” Muehlenkamp says. They often tell a friend or a sibling first.

If someone confides in you, “your first reaction is essential to whether or not they will seek help,” Muehlenkamp explains. “Be as nonreactive and nonjudgmental as possible.”

Not everyone who self-injures is suicidal. But the only way to know is to ask. If they express any suicidal thinking, get them connected with a mental health provider. You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for advice.

Parents can open conversations with their kids by asking them if they’ve heard of self-harming behaviors or if they know friends who do it. If a friend has confided in them, they can offer to go talk to a trusted adult with their friend to get them help.

There are no medications for treating self-injuring behaviors. But some medications can help treat mental disorders that the person may be dealing with, like depression or anxiety. Mental health counseling or therapy can also help you learn new ways to cope with emotion. See the Wise Choices box for tips on handling strong emotion.

Written by NIH Office of Communications and Public Liaison
Editor: Harrison Wein, Ph.D.
Managing Editor: Tianna Hicklin, Ph.D.

Farmers Market, Pinball, and a Car Show, too

The Fernandina Beach Market Place farmers market will be open Saturday, October 21, 2017, on North Seventh Street, from 9:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m., rain or shine. Join us downtown for some fresh air and friendly faces. With over 40 tents of seasonal produce, home baked goodies, and artisan delicacies, there is something for everyone in the family. From gluten-free breads and goat milk soaps, to farm fresh squash and wild caught shrimp, this is the place to be on Saturday mornings.

Something Good is a gluten-free bakery who makes amazing sweet breads, biscuits, traditional sandwich breads, and other baked goods that are entirely gluten-free. Two of Dee’s three children have gluten allergies and it was challenging for her to find healthy, and tasty, options. Her passion for baking became a search for gluten-free recipes and she soon realized how prevalent the allergy has become. With a few years of experimenting in the gluten free realm, she had all five members of the family, including the pickiest of eaters, eating (and enjoying) her gluten free creations, that are now available each week at the Market Place.

Introducing new scents this week is Soap-Crafters. They have goat milk soaps and lotions, bath bombs, sugar bars, and sugar scrubs, and their new sugar scrub lip balm is made with the honey from another vendor in the farmers market, Cross Creek Honey.

As the cooler weather moves in, so will a new crop of seasonal produce. Boatright Family Farm, of Bristol, Georgia, will be bringing sweet potatoes, mustard greens, turnip and collard greens, squash, and they still have cucumbers growing. Farming is the family’s livelihood, and as rough as it gets from time to time – such as the losses created by Hurricane Irma – the Boatrights are proud to have raised three children on their ancestral, family farm.

Don’t forget to call ahead and reserve your shrimp with Eddie and Debbie Chesser, of Chesser Seafood. Eddie’s shrimp boat, “The Brat”, hauls in fresh shrimp each week and they will hold your shrimp at the farmers market if you would like to pre-order. They can be reached at (904) 509-3337. Since the 8 Flags Car Show will be set up on Centre Street, they will likely sell out fast this Saturday!

This week’s music will be provided by the talented Jim Barcaro, and our featured Brick and Mortar business will be Fernandina Beach’s own Pinball Museum. This is an interactive museum of pinball fun. They offer unlimited play for the price of admission and weather permitting, will have a pinball machine on display at the farmers market. Bring the kids and show them a traditional arcade game from previous generations.

The farmers market is open every Saturday, and your well-behaved, leashed pets are always welcome.

For more information, find the Fernandina Beach Market Place on facebook or the world wide web.

The cr(AP)py Poll

Can someone please explain to me the thought process that goes on when picking the top 25 teams for the AP poll each week?

Year after year, week after week, I am dumbfounded with certain decisions that are made and I am sure I’m not the only one…

Let’s back up a little bit.
The 2017 season started off with what was supposed to be one of the biggest games in all of college football – #1 Alabama vs. #2 Florida State. This game was to set the whole season in motion and a loss for either team did not put them out of playoff contention. As we all know, Alabama came out victorious and FSU lost their starting quarterback to a devastating knee injury. The Seminoles held The Tide to only 24 total points, which is pretty impressive considering this is the lowest score for Bama we’ve seen through the first 7 weeks. With heavy hearts, Seminole fans all over the country carried on with their lives that following Sunday, waiting for good news and optimistic about the remainder of the season. That is, until the AP poll was released. FSU dropped 8 spots to #10, despite multiple reports stating that it wasn’t over and they are still a very powerful team. Granted, FSU has definitely not proven to be a top 25, let alone a top 10 team, but during week 1, a loss to the #1 team in the nation shouldn’t be the end-all be-all for ANY team.

Fast forward to week 7…with no top 25 matchups, honestly on paper this weekend didn’t look to be very impressive or entertaining. As a diehard football fan, I knew this could only mean one thing; UPSETS GALORE! What I didn’t know was that it would start on Friday night with #2 Clemson falling to unranked Syracuse. This was probably the most unexpected loss for me, personally, but since I graduated from FSU in May, I was not sad to see one of our rivals lose. I woke up Saturday morning to the news that Cal not only upset #8 Washington State, but ran all over them. Now, this is where things got interesting. Michigan pulled off an important win in OT, Miami barely skated by to an unranked team for the 2nd week in a row, #10 Auburn gave up a 20-0 lead and ultimately lost to LSU, Florida wore the ugliest jerseys of all time and still walked away with a loss at home, USC BARELY outlasted Utah on a failed 2-pt conversion to avoid OT, and Boise State and Arizona State handed San Diego State and Washington their first losses of the season, respectively.

All in all, this ultimately became one of the most exciting football Saturdays I’ve seen in recent years, so imagine my disappointment when the AP polls were released this afternoon.

Michigan WON and dropped 2 spots, the Miami Hurricanes moved up 3 spots after a 2nd last minute win against an unranked team, Clemson dropped 5 spots to #7 (WHAT? Need I remind you that FSU dropped much farther after a much more impressive loss??), USC moved up 2 spots, Washington State is still in the top 15 after an atrocious loss to an UNRANKED TEAM, and Georgia stomped all over Mizzou and only went up one spot. Penn State had a bye week this week so they were unable to prove their worth and with one of the toughest remaining schedules in all of the NCAA I don’t see them staying up there for much longer, so why didn’t UGA get the coveted #2 spot in the poll? Recent experience (when FSU didn’t play due to a hurricane and still descended down the polls) shows that bye weeks don’t stop the committee from dropping teams when others do well. With a true freshman starter and arguably the best running back duo in the country, I think the Bulldogs should be right up there with Alabama, who also show no signs of wavering any time soon.

Hopefully these upcoming weeks will be less controversial, and I will be the first to admit that I love upsets, but for the love of god, BE CONSISTENT. If a team loses to a someone ranked higher than them, there isn’t much surprise and they shouldn’t be punished too greatly for it, but when you have SEVEN top 25 teams lose to unranked opponents in the same weekend, maybe you should reassess your poll standings.

Woodblock Talismans of Vietnam

Friends of the Library is pleased to announce the new exhibit on display in the community room of the Fernandina Beach Library. The exhibition is entitled “Dressing the Dead: Woodblock talismans of Vietnam.” The items on display are from the personal collection of James Kemp of Fernandina Beach.
 
Mr. Kemp first encountered the artwork of talismans when he was sent to Vietnam in 1967 with the US Navy at 20 years old. He returned and earned a BA degree in 1973 in Asian Studies from Florida State University. He began collecting talismans and woodblocks in 1973 when he returned to Taiwan to study from 1973-77.
 
Talismans in this exhibit are images which were carved into pieces of wood and then inked and pressed onto cloth or paper. These images are thought to be magical and can bring good luck in the afterlife to those who have died.
 
The exhibition is available for viewing now through December 31st, 2017 in the Community Room of the Fernandina Beach Library, located at 25 N. 4th Street. Special viewing hours are 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. on Wednesdays with the exception of October 25th.
 
For further information regarding this exhibit, on joining Friends of the Library, or to donate, please visit the Friends of the Library website at www.fernandinaFOL.org or call the library at 904-530-6500, Extension 1.

Wellness Festival Discount Offered for Nassau County Residents

AMELIA ISLAND, Fla. – This fall, travelers and locals alike will have a new way to get fit and focused thanks to the inaugural Amelia Island Wellness Festival (Nov. 10-12), a three-day “well-abration” for renewing mind, body and soul. Nassau County residents are being offered a $250 “locals only” discount off the weekend package price, using code FBFLOVE. The festival will take place at The Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island, where attendees can experience educational and inspirational sessions with acclaimed names in yoga, meditation and fitness, headlined by life transformation specialist Heidi Powell. The Amelia Island Wellness Festival is a ticketed event open to the public. More information, including tickets and accommodations, is available at ameliaislandwellnessfestival.com.

“We’ve partnered with some of the most qualified fitness and wellness advisors around the country to develop an all-encompassing wellness retreat designed to inspire self-discovery and healthy living,” said Gil Langley, president and CEO of the Amelia Island Convention & Visitors Bureau “With 13 miles of pristine coastline and other breathtaking natural beauty, Amelia is an ideal setting to connect to one’s self and to nature.”

In addition to Heidi Powell, co-host of ABC’s “Extreme Weight Loss” series, the wellness festival will feature music and inspiration from MC YOGI, along with pop-ups, panels and instruction by yogi-influencer Laura Sykora (@laurasykora); dance-inspired cardio studio, DanceBody; and MNDFL, New York City’s fast-growing meditation center. The festival schedule of events (subject to change) includes the following classes and brands:

-Empowering thousands across the globe with her vision of transforming lives from the inside out, celebrity trainer Heidi Powell will lead the keynote speech and share advice on fitness, nutrition, parenting, marriage and finding balance. Powell will also lead the featured fitness class, introducing participants to her best practices – the first of its kind in the region.

-MC YOGI, recognized as a leading voice in the emerging genre of conscious music, will kick off the festival with his beat-happy, Krishna-crazed music that blends his love and knowledge of yoga culture with hip hop, reggae and electronic music. Enjoy inspirational talks about his journey and transformation through yoga, meditation and the power of music.

-Yogi-influencer Laura Sykora will lead several yoga classes, open to all levels of practice, in the fun and playful, yet challenging style for which she is known. Classes will be offered at various times.
DanceBody, one of New York and Miami’s hottest new workout crazes, combines dance-inspired cardio and toning set to motivating music to encourage attendees to move their bodies in new ways and work muscles they didn’t know existed. Well-rounded, full-body workouts, easy to follow classes and feel-good motivation offer an unparalleled dance-inspired fitness experience.

-Meditation is an increasingly popular wellness trend for all ages, and MNDFL is the New York City studio credited with bringing the contemplative practice to the masses in the Northeast. Two of MNDFL’s leaders will bring the transformative powers of meditation to Amelia Island to guide mindfulness and encourage refocus for participants.

In addition to the selection of sessions, on-site activities at The Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island host location will include a welcome reception, break-out sessions, morning yoga, and select food and beverage offerings. The weekend will culminate with a communal dinner on Saturday, including a panel discussion with the wellness masters.

Additional offers are available island-wide, including: standup paddleboard yoga instruction, offered by Kayak Amelia; nature kayak trips guided by Amelia Island Kayak Excursions and Kayak Amelia; Flexx It, Spin, Punchography and PIYO fitness classes at The Beat Fitness Studio; fitness instruction by Susie Dodge Fitness and the Omni Amelia Island Plantation; as well as a variety of yoga classes ranging from sunset yoga to beer yoga, offered by Centered on Yoga, Pajama Dave’s, and Café Karibo.

At a package price of $349 for Nassau County residents (code: FBFLOVE), participants enjoy access to official programming Friday through Sunday at The Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island. Tickets can be purchased at ameliaislandwellnessfestival.com. Additional activities, accommodation offers, and packages will be offered across Amelia Island. For more information and a full schedule of events, go to ameliaislandwellnessfestival.com.

FSCJ Named Eligible to Compete for $1 Million Dollar Prize

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. – Florida State College at Jacksonville (FSCJ) has just been named one of 150 community colleges eligible to compete for the 2019 Aspen Prize for Community College Excellence, the nation’s signature recognition of high achievement and performance in America’s community colleges. This is the second time in the last three years FSCJ has been ranked in the top 10%.

FSCJ was selected from a pool of nearly 1,000 public, two-year colleges nationwide to compete for the $1 million Aspen Prize.

“The selection as one of the most prestigious colleges in the nation by the Aspen Institute is a testament to the dedicated work of both our faculty and students at FSCJ,” said FSCJ President Dr. Cynthia Bioteau. “Our leadership at every level within the College works diligently to provide exceptional academic opportunities for our students. This recognition is proof that we continue to improve outcomes for all students.”

Awarded every two years since 2011, the Aspen Prize recognizes institutions with outstanding achievements in four areas: learning; certificate and degree completion; employment and earnings; and high levels of access and success for minority and low-income students.

FSCJ will move forward to the next round of the competition for the Aspen Prize for Community College Excellence by submitting an application to be reviewed through a rigorous evaluation for a spot on the top 10 Aspen Prize finalists list. Top 10 finalists will be named in May 2018. The Aspen Institute will then conduct site visits to each of the finalists and collect additional quantitative data. A distinguished Prize Jury will select a grand prize winner, finalist(s) with distinction, and rising star(s) in spring 2019.

FSCJ to Host First Event in Business Speaker Series

Florida State College at Jacksonville (FSCJ) will host its first event in its new Business Speaker Series which is presented by First Florida Credit Union.

“Generational Dynamics in the Workplace” will feature Certified Keynote Speaker Matt Beaudreau who will share with the audience ways different generations can best come together in the workplace and ways to market and relate to these different audiences, along with the nuances seen within Northeast Florida.

Mr. Beaudreau’s speaking clients include Wells Fargo, Honeywell, Wasserman Media and Sandia National Laboratories. He’s presented to more than 20,000 people across the U.S. and Mexico. With a reputation as a leader in his own generation, he was a featured TEDx speaker and named corporate trainer of the year at Stanford University.

The series is made possible by a $250,000 commitment from First Florida Credit Union to support initiatives that will help local students and community members become future business leaders. The funding helped launch the series and will bolster the College’s Financial Skills Academy over the span of five years.

Online registration is required. Visit fscj.edu/business-speakers.

WHEN: Thursday, November 9, 2017, at 8-10:30 a.m.
WHERE: Nathan H. Wilson Center for the Arts
FSCJ South Campus, 11901 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville, FL 32246

Local Shrimping and Net Making History with Burbank Brothers

ShrimpNetsFriends of the Library is proud to present an informative evening with Mr. Billy Burbank III and his brother Frank Burbank who are part of Fernandina Beach’s renowned shrimping and net making family. Folklorist Dr. Peggy Bulger will interview the brothers in an informal and audience-participation evening that will explore Fernandina Beach’s history and heritage grounded in the shrimping industry.

Join Dr. Bulger and the Burbank Brothers on Monday evening October 16th from 6:00 p.m. – 8:00 p.m. in the Fernandina Beach Library Community Room, 25 N. 4th Street. A slide show and video clips, as well as recorded interview clips with Dorothy Burbank Jones (age 94) will be part of the evening’s program.
Participation is limited, so register in advance by calling the library at 904-530-6500, Ext. 1. If you are not able to attend, please call the library to cancel so someone on the waiting list may participate.

For further information regarding this event, on joining Friends of the Library, or to donate, please visit the Friends of the Library website at www.fernandinaFOL.org.

Positive Parenting

Parents have an important job. Raising kids is both rewarding and challenging. You’re likely to get a lot of advice along the way, from doctors, family, friends, and even strangers. But every parent and child is unique. Being sensitive and responsive to your kids can help you build positive, healthy relationships together.

“Being a sensitive parent and responding to your kids cuts across all areas of parenting,” says Arizona State University’s Dr. Keith Crnic, a parent-child relationship expert. “What it means is recognizing what your child needs in the moment and providing that in an effective way.” This can be especially critical for infants and toddlers, he adds. Strong emotional bonds often develop through sensitive, responsive, and consistent parenting in the first years of life. For instance, holding your baby lovingly and responding to their cries helps build strong bonds.

Building Bonds
Strong emotional bonds help children learn how to manage their own feelings and behaviors and develop self-confidence. They help create a safe base from which they can explore, learn, and relate to others.
Experts call this type of strong connection between children and their caregivers “secure attachment.” Securely attached children are more likely to be able to cope with challenges like poverty, family instability, parental stress, and depression.

A recent analysis shows that about 6 out of 10 children in the U.S. develop secure attachments to their parents. The 4 out of 10 kids who lack such bonds may avoid their parents when they are upset or resist their parents if they cause them more distress. Studies suggest that this can make kids more prone to serious behavior problems. Researchers have been testing programs to help parents develop behaviors that encourage secure attachment.

Being Available
Modern life is full of things that can influence your ability to be sensitive and responsive to your child. These include competing priorities, extra work, lack of sleep, and things like mobile devices. Some experts are concerned about the effects that distracted parenting may have on emotional bonding and children’s language development, social interaction, and safety.

If parents are inconsistently available, kids can get distressed and feel hurt, rejected, or ignored. They may have more emotional outbursts and feel alone. They may even stop trying to compete for their parent’s attention and start to lose emotional connections to their parents.

“There are times when kids really do need your attention and want your recognition,” Crnic explains. Parents need to communicate that their kids are valuable and important, and children need to know that parents care what they’re doing, he says.

It can be tough to respond with sensitivity during tantrums, arguments, or other challenging times with your kids. “If parents respond by being irritable or aggressive themselves, children can mimic that behavior, and a negative cycle then continues to escalate,” explains Dr. Carol Metzler, who studies parenting at the Oregon Research Institute.

According to Crnic, kids start to regulate their own emotions and behavior around age three. Up until then, they depend more on you to help them regulate their emotions, whether to calm them or help get them excited. “They’re watching you to see how you do it and listening to how you talk to them about it,” he explains. “Parents need to be good self-regulators. You’re not only trying to regulate your own emotions in the moment, but helping your child learn to manage their emotions and behavior.”

As kids become better at managing their feelings and behavior, it’s important to help them develop coping skills, like active problem solving. Such skills can help them feel confident in handling what comes their way.
“When parents engage positively with their children, teaching them the behaviors and skills that they need to cope with the world, children learn to follow rules and regulate their own feelings,” Metzler says.

“As parents, we try really hard to protect our kids from the experience of bad things,” Crnic explains. “But if you protect them all the time and they are not in situations where they deal with difficult or adverse circumstances, they aren’t able to develop healthy coping skills.”

He encourages you to allow your kids to have more of those experiences and then help them learn how to solve the problems that emerge. Talk through the situation and their feelings. Then work with them to find solutions to put into practice. 
Meeting Needs
As children grow up, it’s important to remember that giving them what they need doesn’t mean giving them everything they want. “These two things are very different,” Crnic explains. “Really hone in on exactly what’s going on with your kid in the moment. This is an incredibly important parenting skill and it’s linked to so many great outcomes for kids.”

Think about where a child is in life and what skills they need to learn at that time. Perhaps they need help managing emotions, learning how to behave in a certain situation, thinking through a new task, or relating to friends.

“You want to help kids become confident,” Crnic says. “You don’t want to aim too high where they can’t get there or too low where they have already mastered the skill.” Another way to boost confidence while strengthening your relationship is to let your kid take the lead.

“Make some time to spend with your child that isn’t highly directive, where your child leads the play,” advises Dr. John Bates, who studies children’s behavior problems at Indiana University Bloomington. “Kids come to expect it and they love it, and it really improves the relationship.”

Bates also encourages parents to focus on their child’s actual needs instead of sticking to any specific parenting principles.

It’s never too late to start building a healthier, more positive relationship with your child, even if things have gotten strained and stressful. “Most importantly, make sure that your child knows that you love them and are on their side,” Metzler says. “For older children, let them know that you are genuinely committed to building a stronger relationship with them and helping them be successful.”

By being a sensitive and responsive parent, you can help set your kids on a positive path, teach them self-control, reduce the likelihood of troublesome behaviors, and build a warm, caring parent-child relationship.

Tips for Connecting with Your Kids
-Catch kids showing good behavior and offer specific praise.
-Give children meaningful jobs at home and positive recognition afterward. Don’t be overly critical; instead, help them improve their skills one step at a time.
-Use kind words, tones, and gestures when giving instructions or making requests. 
-Spend some time every day in warm, positive, loving interaction with your kids. Look for opportunities to spend time as a family, like taking after-dinner walks or reading books together.
-Brainstorm solutions to problems at home or school together.
-Set rules for yourself for mobile device use and other distractions. For instance, check your phone after your child goes to bed.
-Ask about your child’s concerns, worries, goals, and ideas.
-Participate in activities that your child enjoys. Help out with and attend their events, games, activities, and performances.

Written by NIH Office of Communications and Public Liaison
Editor: Harrison Wein, Ph.D.
Managing Editor: Tianna Hicklin, Ph.D.

Coping With Grief – Life After Loss

Losing someone you love can change your world. You miss the person who has died and want them back. You may feel sad, alone, or even angry. You might have trouble concentrating or sleeping. If you were a busy caregiver, you might feel lost when you’re suddenly faced with lots of unscheduled time. These feelings are normal. There’s no right or wrong way to mourn. Scientists have been studying how we process grief and are learning more about healthy ways to cope with loss.

The death of a loved one can affect how you feel, how you act, and what you think. Together, these reactions are called grief. It’s a natural response to loss. Grieving doesn’t mean that you have to feel certain emotions. People can grieve in very different ways.

Cultural beliefs and traditions can influence how someone expresses grief and mourns. For example, in some cultures, grief is expressed quietly and privately. In others, it can be loud and out in the open. Culture also shapes how long family members are expected to grieve.

“People often believe they should feel a certain way,” says Dr. Wendy Lichtenthal, a psychologist at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center. “But such ‘shoulds’ can lead to feeling badly about feeling badly. It’s hugely important to give yourself permission to grieve and allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling. People can be quite hard on themselves and critical of what they are feeling. Be compassionate and kind to yourself.”

Adapting to Loss 
Experts say you should let yourself grieve in your own way and time. People have unique ways of expressing emotions. For example, some might express their feelings by doing things rather than talking about them. They may feel better going on a walk or swimming, or by doing something creative like writing or painting. For others, it may be more helpful to talk with family and friends about the person who’s gone, or with a counselor.

“Though people don’t often associate them with grief, laughing and smiling are also healthy responses to loss and can be protective,” explains Dr. George Bonanno, who studies how people cope with loss and trauma at Columbia University. He has found that people who express flexibility in their emotions often cope well with loss and are healthier over time.

“It’s not about whether you should express or suppress emotion, but that you can do this when the situation calls for it,” he says. For instance, a person with emotional flexibility can show positive feelings, like joy, when sharing a happy memory of the person they lost and then switch to expressing sadness or anger when recalling more negative memories, like an argument with that person.

Grief is a process of letting go and learning to accept and live with loss. The amount of time it takes to do this varies with each person. “Usually people experience a strong acute grief reaction when someone dies and at the same time they begin the gradual process of adapting to the loss,” explains psychiatrist Dr. M. Katherine Shear at Columbia University. “To adapt to a loss, a person needs to accept its finality and understand what it means to them. They also have to find a way to re-envision their life with possibilities for happiness and for honoring their enduring connection to the person who died.”

Researchers like Lichtenthal have found that finding meaning in life after loss can help you adapt. Connecting to those things that are most important, including the relationship with the person who died, can help you co-exist with the pain of grief.

Types of Grief 
About 10% of bereaved people experience complicated grief, a condition that makes it harder for some people to adapt to the loss of a loved one. People with this prolonged, intense grief tend to get caught up in certain kinds of thinking, says Shear, who studies complicated grief. They may think the death did not have to happen or happen in the way that it did. They also might judge their grief—questioning if it’s too little or too much—and focus on avoiding reminders of the loss.

“It can be very discouraging to experience complicated grief, but it’s important not to be judgmental about your grief and not to let other people judge you,” Shear explains.

Shear and her research team created and tested a specialized therapy for complicated grief in three NIH-funded studies. The therapy aimed to help people identify the thoughts, feelings, and actions that can get in the way of adapting to loss. They also focused on strengthening one’s natural process of adapting to loss. The studies showed that 70% of people taking part in the therapy reported improved symptoms. In comparison, only 30% of people who received the standard treatment for depression had improved symptoms.

You may begin to feel the loss of your loved one even before their death. This is called anticipatory grief. It’s common among people who are long-term caregivers. You might feel sad about the changes you are going through and the losses you are going to have. Some studies have found that when patients, doctors, and family members directly address the prospect of death before the loss happens, it helps survivors cope after the death.

Life Beyond Loss 
NIH-funded scientists continue to study different aspects of the grieving process. They hope their findings will suggest new ways to help people cope with the loss of a loved one. Although the death of a loved one can feel overwhelming, many people make it through the grieving process with the support of family and friends. Take care of yourself, accept offers of help from those around you, and be sure to get counseling if you need it.

“We believe grief is a form of love and it needs to find a place in your life after you lose someone close,” Shear says. “If you are having trouble moving forward in your own life, you may need professional help. Please don’t lose hope. We have some good ways to help you.”

Wise Choices – Coping With Loss
-Take care of yourself. Try to exercise regularly, eat healthy food, and get enough sleep. Avoid habits that can put your health at risk, like drinking too much alcohol or smoking.
-Talk with caring friends. Let others know if you need to talk.
-Try not to make any major changes right away. It’s a good idea to wait for a while before making big decisions, like moving or changing jobs.
-Join a grief support group in person or online. It might help to talk with others who are also grieving. Check with your local hospice, hospitals, religious communities, and government agencies to find a group in your area.
-Consider professional support. Sometimes talking to a counselor about your grief can help.
-Talk to your doctor. Be sure to let your healthcare provider know if you’re having trouble with everyday activities, like getting dressed, sleeping, or fixing meals.
-Be patient with yourself. Mourning takes time. It’s common to feel a mix of emotions for a while.

Written by NIH Office of Communications and Public Liaison
Editor: Harrison Wein, Ph.D.
Managing Editor: Tianna Hicklin, Ph.D.

FSCJ to Host Event in Observance of Constitution Day 2017

Florida State College at Jacksonville (FSCJ) has rescheduled its observance of Constitution Day 2017 for October 18 after the original event, set for September was canceled due to Hurricane Irma.

FSCJ’s Public Safety and Paralegal programs welcome the community, students, College faculty and staff for “Hamilton Was Not the Only Hip Founding Father: Meet James Madison.” The Honorable Timothy J. Corrigan, United States District Court Judge, will serve as the keynote speaker and will lead the discussion.

This event is co-hosted by the FSCJ Theta Sigma Chi Chapter of the American Criminal Justice Association. To register, email frando@fscj.edu.

Wednesday, October 18, 2017, at 6 p.m.
FSCJ Kent Campus Auditorium
3939 Roosevelt Blvd.
Jacksonville, FL 32205

2017 Jacksonville National College Fair

Florida State College at Jacksonville (FSCJ) invites high school students and their parents/guardians to attend the Jacksonville National College Fair to learn more about FSCJ programs, free college opportunities through FSCJ Promise and transfer options through UNF Connect. Attendees will also have a chance to meet more than 100 college and university representatives from across the nation and attend workshops to help in preparing for college.

FSCJ will be at booth 519 and FSCJ’s recruitment team will host three break-out sessions:

Oh the Places You’ll Go: Selecting the Right College
Presented by Terry Hollingshead, FSCJ Senior Associate Director of Student Recruitment
9 a.m., Room 106

Hot Jobs in the 21st Century
Presented by Terry Hollingshead, FSCJ Senior Associate Director of Student Recruitment
Noon, Room 103

FAFSA Completion Lab
Hosted by FSCJ
9 a.m. – 1 p.m., North Ballroom

To learn about the other workshops that will be available and to register for the
fair, visit nacacfairs.org.

FSCJ representatives will also be onsite to answer questions on program of study options, admissions, enrollment, tuition, student life and more.

Students can register in advance online which makes navigating the fair and collecting information from multiple colleges and universities much easier for students. By pre-registering students can print a bar coded confirmation to be used on-site at the fair as an electronic ID. Pre-registration is not required to attend the fair.

For more information or to register, students and parents/guardians may visit fscj.edu/nacac.

Saturday, October 14, 2017, from 9 a.m. – 1 p.m.
Free admission and parking
Prime F. Osborn III Convention Center
1000 Water St., Jacksonville, FL 32204

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