Here is a joke from my 90 year old grandmother that I could not resist sharing; especially since we are well into football season.
The original author is unknown.
A happily married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, “Seven Points”.
His wife rolls over and says, “What in the world was that”?
The old man replied, “It’s fart football”.
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, “Touchdown, tie score!”
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, “Aha. I’m ahead 14 to 7.”
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, “Touchdown, tie score.” Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, “Field goal, I lead 17 to 14”.
Now the pressure is on the old man, but he refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he’s got and accidentally craps in the bed.
The wife asks, “What the hell was that?”
The old man says, “Halftime… switch sides!”