Avoid difficult people; they kidnap your life
Avoid difficult people; they kidnap your life

by Dr. Keith Johnson

Do you envy those positive people you run into on occasion; the ones that smile constantly, are always upbeat and positive, ever ready to take on a task or help someone else in their endeavors? Where on the scale between positive and negative do you stand? Do you consider yourself a positive or negative person? If you don’t know, do you know how you can tell?  Look around at the people associating with you regularly and ask yourself, “Are they positive or negative?”  When you finish time in their company have you spoken highly in anticipation of things to come, or did you spend your time bashing your job and your boss and your ex and your school? Do you know that you, like most of us, carry around a committee of jerks and nay-sayers in your head? It’s made up of all the negative, pessimistic people in your entourage. They are the overly cautious voices in your head that represent negativity.

Negativity is not your friend!  Negativity will kill you.  And in some cases, although you are physically walking around and breathing, spiritually you are already dead.  That “Voice of Criticism” is always working on your mind and your feelings, telling you about all the things you can’t do, and insisting that you will never be successful, no matter what you try to do.  And there are so many things in your life that you have never ventured to try because you already were a failure in your mind.  Isn’t it time to make that “Voice of Criticism” shut up, and to start making a mental turn to believing in yourself and the great things you can do if you would only try?

A mind focused on positive experience, filled with hope and excitement and passion can do unlimited things, exciting things that help not only you, but those around you. When you speak, you bring hope and inspiration. When people see you, they gather because they feel that you may help them laugh and forget some of their own troubles for the moment. So ask yourself, is that your experience when you get around people you know? Do people seek out your company and advice? Or when you show up, do you notice the smile that they don’t return? Or do they excuse themselves because they have many things to do, and they just don’t want to sit around nor have time to talk? If a person likes your company, they will find time to be around you, no matter what it is they have to do that day.

Many of us carry in our head nothing but junk, and much of that junk is often negative. No matter what the day has in store for us, it is not going to be good enough to make us happy. Have you had so many negative experiences that you no longer think life is meant for you to be happy? There is no man or woman good enough for us, so we will remain single. There is no job that can make us satisfied, so we just go on in a miserable job making an income. And these are the thoughts that control your daily activities.

So what do you do? You have to change your mind! You have to turn your negative thinking into positive thinking, and start making your life count for the good instead of the bad. How do you do that? Well, the first thing you do is take note of how you are really thinking on a daily basis, and what thoughts you are feeding within your subconsciousness that you act upon during the rest of the day. When you are driving down the street, turn off the car radio for a while and examine what you are really thinking without the ‘distracting” sound of the music. When you are taking your morning shower, how are you preparing yourself to face the day? Are you angry, bitter, or are you excited, anxious to get out there? These are some of the moments when you take charge of your thoughts and feed yourself new ideas.

If a census of your thoughts tells you that you are talking yourself into a world of bitterness, then start talking to yourself in a more positive way. You might even take a piece of paper and write some necessary positive thoughts to start your day: “I am a good person.” “I am important to the world around me.” “I can make a great contribution today.” “I am going to be happy today.” I am going to make someone else happy.” You be the author, for only you can decide what thoughts will help you.

Be your own psychoanalyst: Do my thoughts make me happy? Do my thoughts satisfy my heart? Do I help other people with my thoughts, or am I too self-bitter that I can’t help anyone else? Be honest. Only you know if you need to change your thoughts. Only you know how really satisfied you are with life. If you are sitting around crying over some bad thing that happened to you years, or even months ago, or if you are angry because someone hurt you three weeks ago, these thoughts are probably not helping you feel good during the day, nor are they empowering you to achieve your goals, whatever they may be. And if you are mad at yourself because you are embellishing some big failure, it’s time to forgive yourself and go on with your life. You have as much right to be on this earth as anyone else.

You know what also changes those thoughts of negativity?  Forgiveness!  Forgive yourself for making mistakes, forgive your friends and family for what you may think they have done wrong, and start loving them.  Positive action brings the most positive results, and it’s easier than you think.

So get rid of the junk. Get that job that will make you happy. Make peace with your children or parents. Communicate with your spouse and stop being angry. Get yourself a present. Go on a trip. And most of all, believe in yourself, and help someone else believe in themselves as well.

After all, what’s the worst that could possibly happen?  You could fail, or turn out to be wrong, but haven’t you been there before?  And just maybe this is the time that it works!